Madure's Kiosk: 50 Habits of "Naturally Thin" People

Melchizadek, top peerless neophyte of the Order of the Draconian Installanallia, ascended the mountainous outcropping, one step closer to his goal.  The oily stone slipped under his iron grip, an automatic fingernail flashing at the tip of each phalange. Melchizadek's limber grace catapulted him ever upward, over rough-hewn, cyclopean ruins, aged and warped by the unkind hands of time.  Ashes blew from aloft, pattering upon Melchizadek's sculpted shoulders and mingling with the heavy perspiration on his face, turning into a sticky paste.  Closer he labored.  The Crate of Deliverance strapped to the small of his back, throwing off his carefully placed steps, threatening to unhinge his balance. Melchizadek's sponsor, Astroglyde, had allowed him only one convenience, a ragged orange tablecloth to hide his shame.  This garment, now wound about his waist, snagged itself on as may rocks as it could, making the journey exponentially more perilous.  Still, he would not remove it.  He could not afford to be shamed, not on this, the greatest of his days, not in the Temple of the Golden Stanchion. Melchizadek's bunion screamed in pain as he levered himself over the last rise and looked upon the temple.  But where was it?  In its time-honored place stood an enormous canvas tent.  Where was the fuchsia scrollwork?  Where were the sugar-coated grape globes?  And where was the beam of mauve light emanating from the top? All Gone!  No, not gone.  Replaced by this hideous crimson and chartreuse apparition, a striped canopy staked to the ground.  Melchizadek approached, his muscles atremble, and his breath hitching in his throat.  A sign post was hammered into the ground before him.  On it was a crudely painted graphic of a man wearing a red glove, raising his hand in warning.  The inscription read: Nosy people keep out!See full article here (link)




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You don't have to give up that quick lunch if you order smaller portions: Instead of a Quarter Pounder with Cheese and large fries, opt for the cheeseburger Happy Meal.
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